there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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