the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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