We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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