no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize