That's intense
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
