I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
