brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I am midnight drunk by noon
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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