Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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