at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I AM VODKA MAN
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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