I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
