I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
