Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you had me at cake vodka
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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