Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
