The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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