i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
