Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
