R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
