I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
