oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
