Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
