So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We need a shit load of segways right now
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I use my feet as sexual weapons
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
