I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
