How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
