in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Panties = found
Randomize
