Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
