i permit you to call me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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