yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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