I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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