Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
