it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
