it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
