Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
