I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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