i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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