This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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