All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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