If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
