i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
