Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My liver just broke up with me...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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