so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
