after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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