It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
try to milk me bitch
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
