dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
