I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize