Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
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