standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
