she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
