youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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