So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
