dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
