Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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