If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
