so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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