Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
