My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just tell him i said nine months
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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