Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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