Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
