He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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